Why Can It Never Be Me?
by shadow243ali
Summary: “Why can it never be me?” The question broke into the happy atmosphere that had been around only moments ago. It pressed down, casting a shadow over the Doctor. He knew what those words were referring to but he didn’t want to talk about that subject.
1. Why Can It Never Be Me?

**AN: A random idea came into my mind and this story was written. If you're thinking this is anti-martha, well it isn't. I've decided to be nice. Well, nice-ish. WEll, I suppose it's not exactly nice but it's not mean either...not really. Ok, tell me what you think.**

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"Why can it never be me?"

The question broke into the happy atmosphere that had been around only moments ago. It pressed down, casting a shadow over the Doctor. He knew what those words were referring to but he didn't want to talk about that subject so he tried to change it.

"Martha, what are you on about?" She was about to open her mouth to explain but he interrupted once again, trying to make her talk about something else. Rambling always helped, "You know if this is about me not letting you drive the Tardis then fine but I'm not going to. I don't let my companions drive the Tardis," That was a lie, he had let Rose. They had went to Barcelona," Or if this is about you wanting me to dance with you at that Squizolking Ball, then I'm sorry but I don't dance," Another lie, "Or if this is about – "

"Shut up!" she screamed at him, "Just shut up!"

The Doctor looked up, astonished. Had she just told him to shut up? "Martha…"

"No, I don't want to hear it. You know what I'm on about so stop trying to change the subject. Why won't you answer my question? Why can it never be me?"

Anger spread through his body and into his hearts, "Martha, you want to know why I won't answer your question, " She nodded, "Because I don't want to talk about this. I'm sorry. I really am but I just don't like you in that way. And…and if you don't like that, if you can't handle being my friend and only my friend then I'm sorry but I'll take you home."

Silence fell over them and for a moment the Doctor thought she was going to comply with his request but he was wrong.

"You felt that way about her?" It was a simple statement, an uneasy question but it caused the Doctor to grow angry instantly. It wasn't her place to ask questions about his past, about how he felt, about the people he lo-

The people he lost.

"Martha, I am giving you one last warning. Stop prying into my personal life. It is my past! My feelings! Not yours! I want to keep it that way so stop it…just stop it!"

"But she left you…"

"NO! SHE DIDN'T…" His gaze intensified and Martha felt her legs go to jelly, fear bubbled in her stomach. His voice was low and deadly as he continued, "Martha, don't pry into what you don't understand."

How could she possibly understand anything about him and Rose? She would have never left him. Not willingly at least. She had promised him forever, but she was dragged away screaming for her life. He closed his eyes willing the memory to bury itself again. This wasn't the time to think about it.

"Then tell me what happened to her?"

"No…" He turned his back on her. He couldn't talk about this, the wound was too fresh, the grief still overpowering and Martha wouldn't stop trying to tear off the Band-Aid that he didn't want to be touched. He moved to the time rotor, his finger pressing buttons, "Let's get you back home then."

Martha eyebrows raised in surprise, "What?"

"You're going home Martha. It's time. You've travelled with me for too long. It was only meant to be one trip anyway and…" He paused, looking at his feet, "I'd rather be on my own…"

And for once, he knew it to be true. At least for this moment in time, all he wanted to do was to be on his own. He knew one day the loneliness would get to him, but that seemed a long way off. Maybe he would come and get Martha when he was finished being tired of being alone or maybe he would get someone new but either way it was time to embrace being alone…at least for a little while.

"Look I'm sorry. I just wanted to know about her. That's all."

"No you didn't. Martha, the first thing you asked wasn't about Rose. It was about the way I felt about you…And Martha you have feelings for me that I can't return and I'm sorry. I really am because you were brilliant. You really were, but it's time for you to go back to be a doctor. A proper doctor. It's what you've been waiting for, isn't it?" The Tardis landed, creating a small shake but both occupants remained standing, despite it. The Doctor nodded towards the door, "So go and have a fantastic life, Martha Jones."

Martha gave him one last look, sadness and hurt so fresh in her mind but she willed the tears to stay hidden. Before she reached the door, she turned and looked at him, "Would you rather be on your own?"

The Doctor nodded whispering a truthful, "Yes…"

And it broke her heart, "But even with me here, your practically alone anyway. You never let me in. One minute you can be rambling on about some aliens that look like they are dogs with no noses and suddenly you go all quiet…you just forget about me. Forget I'm there completely and when I ask you what's wrong then it's like the question was never asked in the first place."

"Barcelona…" The Doctor whispered to himself. He had always promised Rose he would take them there but he had never got round to it. Always said, 'We've got all the time in the universe to go see Barcelona, let's visit here first.'How wrong he was? They didn't have all the time in the universe and he had ended up wasting what little time he did have with her. They could have visited so many brilliant planets…

"Doctor!"

"Huh?"

"You see. You just did it again! You ignored me. You're probably thinking about her again because you always look like that when you're talking about her but you never tell me what happened."

He looked up at her and gave a small smile. And just as she thought she was getting through to him, he bowed his head guiltily. And she knew the words were coming before he had even muttered them. He raised his head and said those fatal words, "Goodbye Martha Jones…"

And she was gone, slamming the door behind her, leaving the lonely god to grieve by himself.

**AN: I was thinking of continuing this on with the Doctor travelling by himself for a while , but I might just leave it as a oneshot. Tell me what you think.**


	2. Wallowing

**AN: Seeing as I got a very positive response to the first chapter, I have decided to continue this story on. I really shouldn't. I'm already working on like 6 or 7 stories already, but I am a slave to writing so I must write and write until I can think no mroe.**

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He was sure it was for the best. Now was time to wallow. He hated wallowing, but sometimes the only thing to do to ease the pain was to wallow in the memories. Now that he was on his own, he didn't have to worry about companions asking question or hanging around concerned about him.

He was free to wallow in peace.

No brides to magically appear inside the Tardis. No Martha to interrupt his thoughts. No slaps in the face. No awkward arguments about feelings. No avoiding delicate subjects, there was no one her to avoid the subject with. Just peace and quiet to sit and think about everything that had led him up to this moment in time.

He looked around the empty room, and for the first time he noticed how truly alone he was. Had it always been this large? This cold? This empty? Had he never noticed that the place he called home was making him more secluded than ever?

He was practically a hermit now that she was gone. She had given the Tardis more life and excitement by just being there. She lit up a room with her smile and it made him feel that little less alone. She saved him from the grief the first time. His planet had burned and he had came across her and everything seemed just that little bit easier as he spent more and more time with her, but now she was gone. He was alone and he could no longer avoid the one simple fact he knew to be true:

He missed Rose.

He stood up from his seat at the captain's chair. He needed to keep busy. It wasn't time yet. He didn't want to be consumed in grief. He wanted to travel, to see it all, to think of something other than her screaming as she plunged towards the void.

His hands glided over switches and dial, twisting knobs and pulling levers, flicking switches as the time rotor pulsed, joining him as they ran away from his thoughts and feelings.

He just needed to see a world where he hadn't visited with Rose, a world where he wouldn't have wanted to take her to, a world that didn't have people that reminded him of her. And when the Tardis landed, when he opened the doors and stood outside, he found that there was one simple fact in life he had always seemed to forget.

You don't always get what you want.

To be continued...

**AN: Review if you want to...**


	3. A Destination Unexpected

**AN: Opps I've just realised that I forgot to put this chapter up. I hadn't even realise that. I had it in the documetns thing but I forgot to post it. I'm such an idiot. lol...anyways on with the story.**

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Once getting over the initial shock, he hadn't been that surprised that the Tardis had taken him here. It had always been their favourite place. He scoffed at the thought that it had been theirs.

Like anything was actually theirs. They didn't have anything that was theirs. When she travelled with him, they hadn't shared a bedroom, they hadn't shared a bathroom, and they hadn't even shared a-

He sighed, cutting the thought from his mind. When had he become so domestic? Who cared if they didn't share those things? He didn't, they had shared other, more important things. They had shared adventures; happiness, laughter, jokes, smiles, lingering looks, no wait, no. There was never any lingering looks because if there was then that would mean more and they never had more, but they had shared a home on the Tardis. At least that was how he saw it. The more she travelled with him, the less Rose had called the Powell Estate her home, opting to call the Tardis her home instead. The first time she had referred to it as her home, he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

Now all memories brought was an unwelcome remembrance, followed closely by the aching pit of grief he always tried to push back. So finding himself in front of their favourite place was in no way helping him to ignore that grief.

He wanted to slam the door shut, forget about their place, forget about Rose Tyler, forget about grieving and forget about the blonde hair dancing from his perpheral vision…wait, what?

He took a few steps out and noticed that in the distance was the familiar sight of Rose Tyler.

His jaw dropped in surprise. It was impossible for her to be here. She was trapped in another universe, out of his reach and if she wasn't then what did that mean?

The End of the World?

He suddenly found himself compelled to run forward, wrap his arms around her and lift her up in a hug. And he would have, at least he would've had it not been for the fact that walking beside the familiar sight of Rose Tyler, was the oh so extremely familiar sight of himself, clad in the same brown suit as the one he was wearing at this moment.

He let out a sigh as his hopes dashed away. Of course, it was part of his past. Why had that thought not even entered his head? He had been too wrapped up in the hope of Rose Tyler being with him again that his ignored the obvious.

Although why had the Tardis brought him here? Why had it landed at their place? And even more so, why had it landed while his past self was merely metres away? Was the Tardis trying to disrupt his personal timeline? And if so then why?

To be continued...

**AN: Review if you enjoyed...**


	4. A Narrow Escape And Then I Run Into You

**AN: Oh god I did it again. I forgot that I ahdn't updated this. I had it written and everything. Hell, I even had part of the next chapter written, but I forgot to put this chapter up. (slaps self on head) I'm an idiot. Now on with the story.**

He had almost found himself only mere seconds away from running into the Tardis and taking off before his past self noticed him when as he turned the door to his beloved ship suddenly decided to slam shut in his face.

He pulled a hand up from his side to rub his aching nose as he responded slightly annoyed and angry regardless of the situation, "Oi! What did you do that for?"

The Tardis didn't respond, something he wasn't entirely surprised at, but seeing the imminent threat of paradoxes and Rose (although this Rose was not the one he said goodbye to, at least not yet) in the vicinity, he found himself desperately turning to see if they had found him.

Fortunately for him, they had not and had now instead had their backs faced to him wandering down a pathway. He breathed a sigh of relief before turning back to his ship.

He pulled out his key and tried it in the lock. Unsurprisingly he was still refused entry.

"What do you want me to do?" he wined to his ship, frustration setting in, "I can't go up to my past self and start a conversation if that's what your thinking. Nor can I change what's happened. I can't give any warnings. I can't do a single solitary thing so what is it that you want from me?"

"I think she's giving you a chance to do what's right." said a voice from beside him.

He turned, shocked that it wasn't himself muttering those words seeing as it came from same man, although they may be from different times. His eyes widened as his mouth managed to speak the only word he knew could fit the situation there and then, "What?"

"I said," He paused, giving up repeating what he had just said and instead opting to roll his eyes, "Oh you heard me."

The Doctor nodded to himself, before his face turned serious. He glanced around before turning to his younger self to ask, "Where's Rose?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

He knew he was close to finding himself cut short for a reply. How could he possibly explain to himself what had happened? Unfortunately for his other self, he found a sudden burst of indignation coarse through him, "What are you doing here? Are you an idiot? Do you want to risk a paradox? And what if Rose comes along and sees both of us? How do you think she'll react if she finds out that there isn't a Rose with me?"

"She won't find out." the other Doctor replied calmly, "She's being entertained by a good friend of ours. You might remember him, Mr Pockabelly."

The Doctor groaned, "Oh god, not him. The last time we ran into him he..." The Doctor stopped, trying to think back, but all he was greeted with was darkness -a blank space in his mind - and for once in his life he didn't know why, "I can't remember."

"Exactly!" The other Doctor said, grinning.

He raised an eyebrow at his younger self, "And how exactly is me not remembering helpful?"

The other Doctor stood open mouthed, scratching the back of his head, wondering how he could possibly explain it, "Well..."

To be continued...

**AN: Review if you enjoyed...**


	5. Face to Face I Stand

**AN: Isn't it strange when a sleep deprived mind can actually write updates for four different stories? I never get how my old brain does it, but who am I to complain? At least I got it updated and remember to post it this time. Anyway, on with the story...**

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Once the younger Doctor had finished explaining to his older self, they stood in awkward silence.

The Doctor leaned against the locked Tardis whilst his younger self watched him through curious eyes, "Well…"

"Well?" he asked incredulously, "You say all that and then say well?"

"Well…yeah."

"You want me to pretend to be you."

"You are me."

"No, I'm not." He spit out, eyes flaring with fury, "I've lost her and it hurts. It's changed me. We are not the same…not anymore." He paused, realising what he had just said.

The other self narrowed his eyes, "How did you lose her?"

He let his lips pass a sigh, as he rubbed the spot behind his neck, seeking comfort in it, "You know I can't tell you that."

"Actually you can. Neither Rose or me will remember anything about today. I've told you. That's why you can't remember anything about today."

So they sat down and he had told her. Strangely enough it was a comforting, hard as hell to actually tell what had happened, but once it was all out in the open, it was almost as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. It wasn't as if he was given redemption, absolution or any other forms of relieving his guilt, but it felt good to burden another himself with his regrets, with the pain and sorrow accompanied with the loss of Rose.

It was almost as if his younger self had temporarily taken on the persona of a therapist, but one of those ones affected deeply by what they heard yet still able to offer some form of comfort.

It was probably easier, knowing that she hadn't died. It was a small comfort, even for him. Had she died, had she actually fallen into the void, he was sure that not much would have saved him from himself. Not even a feisty bride could have saved him from a truly heart wrenching grief-stricken time lord with the burning image of his companion falling painstakingly slowly into hell, but lucky for him and Rose, she had not died.

She had lived, was living a fantastic life. At least he hoped she was.

He looked down; listening to the silence he had entered with his other self. A million thoughts were running through his head right now, he was sure. They were one and the same and no matter the difference of age (which wasn't much) or the time in their lives they came from, they were still the same man with the same thoughts and worries.

He just didn't want to be the one comforting for once. No, he wanted to be comforted by someone…anyone, but there would be no takers to the unspoken offer and he needed to give some comfort to his younger self, because in the back of his mind the feeling would linger even when the memories disappeared.

He would know of the oncoming storm and no one would be able stop it. That fact was painstakingly true. And his younger self would feel it in the back of his mind. Would taste the impending grief in the air. He would feel the storm approach and whisper warnings to nothing and wonder why something felt…off and the answers would remain in a forgotten memory.

It was funny if he thought about it. The one moment that could help change everything that had happened and it would be forgotten as easily as…well, as Mickey the Idiot holding down a button.

"She's happy…" He stated, his eyes focusing on the orange glimmer in the sky.

"You don't know that." was the only reply his younger self muttered.

"You still have her. Be happy for that fact." He growled, his anger replacing the need to comfort his younger self.

"And you lost her."

He sighed, letting his gaze drop guiltily to his feet, "Yeah, I did…"

"Will it hurt as much as I think it will?"

He was taken off guard. He didn't think that question would have been asked, but he knew he should have been prepared for it. Nine hundred years of being alone took its toll and the memory of it would never vanish. He had always been alone even long before he was saddled by grief after the burning of Gallifrey, but Rose had saved him and this new loss was indescribable so he answered the only way he knew how to.

"No." His younger self looked up, disbelieving, "It'll hurt more than you think it will."

"Go to her…"

It was his turn to look up, "What?"

"Go to her." He nodded towards the tress in the distance, "She's over there, waiting for me. You. Us…so go to her and make up for what's about to come."

"Thank you."

"Hey, no need to thank yourself." He chuckled, giving a small fleeting smile as a moment of understanding past through their eyes. His younger self nodded towards the woods once more, "Go on."

The Doctor turned and walked away from his younger self, knowing Rose was only a few metres away and he felt his heart reawaken with every step.

To be continued...

**AN: Ah, what will happen next? Only my sleep deprived mind knows...review if you enjoyed.**


	6. Back in Your Arms

**AN: And I return with another cahpter for my most faithful readers...uh, I'm not sure why I said that...anyway on with the story.**

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He had seen her first and gazing upon her in the flesh had taken his breath away because despite it all she was here in front of him. Flesh and bone, and alive and well…Rose Tyler for once single fleeting day was back in his life and that was worth living for.

No monsters, no disasters, no grief stricken memories. For today, he had Rose Tyler back in his life and that was enough.

He tilted his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he watched her laughing with the vendor.

He turned his gaze to the vendor momentarily and grimaced. He always hated being dragged into conversations with Mr Pockabelly…who actually had a name like that?

He turned his gaze back to Rose and felt the smile returning instantly. This was a much better person to think about. Rose Tyler…

Screaming as her grip slipped from the lever…

He blinked, forcing the memory away. She was here; back in his life, if only for a day, but that was better than nothing and she wouldn't remember it so he could say anything and do anything…

He paused, his eyes widening in realisation. He could do anything…

He suddenly found himself rushing forward, his feet clattering faster and faster against the ground. He picked up his pace, the need to be nearer to her increasing with ever inch closer to her.

He stopped only when she was right in front of him. His breaths came in pants as he inhaled unsteadily. She was right in front of him and it didn't feel real. He reached out a hand to touch her arm, to find reassurance in the fact she was actually here. Just as his fingers were about to brush against her arm, she turned and he brought his hand quickly back to his side.

"Hey Doctor, where've you been?"

He gulped and he managed to gasp out, "Too far away…I've been too far away."

And it was the truth, the whole honest truth. He had been forced apart from her for too long. And he had grieved and moved on, only to be dragged back into thoughts of her and not getting to say a proper goodbye, but here was his chance.

Her face scrunched in concern, "Are you alright?" He nodded slowly, his eyes engraving each detail of her face into his mind, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…" he breathed out, "I just missed you..."

"Doctor, you're scaring me. What's wrong? What happened?"

He grabbed her, crushing her in a hug, "Nothing's wrong. Not now. Everything's fine…" He leaned back, giving her a smile. She was here. She was real, "I promise."

"Are you sure? I mean you're acting stra-"

Before she could say another word or protest, he had grabbed the sides of her head and brought his lips to hers, savouring the moment.

He broke the kiss, letting his forehead lean against hers. Rose was speechless, at least as far as he could tell, and he couldn't help but smile at finally achieving that. When she finally managed to find her voice, she looked up at him, her eyes wide with confusion and said, "Ok, now you're definitely acting strange."

Maybe she was right. Maybe he was acting strange, but if this was his last and final chance to tell her how he felt then who could really blame him? Who wouldn't be acting strange?

"Well…"

To be continued...

**AN: Honestly I'm not sure where to go with this story so reviews are much appreciated...hopefully I'll get some.**


	7. Chips?

**AN: Still haven't got a USB pen since the last one was stolen. I wrote this longer-than-usual chapter in the library which I still hate doing. So anyway, I have actually thought of a way for this story to have a happy ending...but why does a story always have to have a happy ending? So now, I've got two possible ideas on how to end this story (Don't worry, the end won't be for a while) and I'm not sure which to go for. Happy or Sad?**

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The Doctor smirked, the corners of his mouth widening to what had seemed to be impossible reaches, He had never thought he'd see her face again, her eyes, her smile, the strange way she crinkled up her nose in confusion but here he was given another chance and even if it was only for one day, well he wasn't planning to waste it.

He was sick of living with regrets, tired of wallowing in the past, annoyed by holding everything he felt in for the sake of the world. He had one day to right wrongs, and do things differently. For once he was going to wear his heart on his sleeve because no matter what happened, he didn't have to worry about the consequences. Rose wouldn't remember what would happen, it wasn't exactly ideal of situations but it would be better in the long run.

His heart might end up being torn apart into pieces when he had to leave her again, but he didn't honestly expect that the pain and grief he had been suffering through could actually get anymore worse. At least this way, he wasn't haunted by declarations unsaid or the image of her screaming as she slipped away. He would have one whole day to make worthwhile happy final memories.

It was worth getting his heart broken for. Again.

"Doctor, are you sure you're alright? I mean we can go back to the Tardis and check if you're ill or something..."

"I'm not ill." He flashed her his honest smile, "Honestly. I'm fine. I'm better than fine actually. Brilliant! Absolutely fine and dandy...that's a strange turn of phrase, isn't it Rose? Fine and Dandy..." He let the words roll off his tongue, emphasizing each word slowly as he repeated it, "Fine. And. Dandy..."

Rose pulled back and placed a hand against his forehead, "Right, you don't have a fever. Did you drink the water again? You know it makes you act all weird. Remember the last time, you ended up trying to climb the walls of the Tardis and-"

"Rose," He interrupted, his tone of voice soft and reaffirming, "I didn't drink the water. I'm not ill," Rose opened her mouth to speak, forcing him to clamp a hand over her mouth to stop the muffled question, "No, I didn't eat any marmalade on bananas recently and I didn't talk to the weeping willow either...although someone should really cheer that thing up. Watering its leaves might do the trick, but then again the rainfall here is highly nutritious so I don't see why it's unhappy. Then again it does end up crying most of the time so I guess it just doesn't get to appreciate the very nutritious rainfall which it should and I'm rambling again, aren't I?" Rose nodded causing his hand move along with her bobbing head as she tried to speak yet only achieving an incoherent mumble. A red flush came up his neck and he removed his hand from her mouth, "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Can you move your hand away from my mouth?"

The Doctor's face scrunched up as confusion took hold, "I just did that."

"I know you did."

"So why did you just ask me to move my hand away from your mouth if it was away from your mouth?"

"I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"No, I didn't ask you. I-"

She was interrupted by the Doctor once again, "But you did ask me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"I didn't." Rose replied; trying to ignore the smug look on his face - the look he reserved for his 'I'm right' speech she was sure would quickly ensure.

"Did!" retort the Doctor.

"Didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't.

"Di-"

"Oh shut up!" Rose shouted, narrowing her eyes in warning at him, "I didn't ask you to do that. I was telling you what I said when you had a hand clamped over my mouth."

"Oh..." the Doctor dragged out, "But you did ask me to move your hand away. Just because I couldn't understand what you were asking the first time doesn't mean you didn't ask..."His mouth snapped shut as he took in her typical hands-on-hips stance. He tried not to smile, remembering that he even missed times like these when she was angry with him, "And I'll just shut up now." He averted her glare and decided to focus on his footwear for a few moments.

"And you're not ill?" she questioned after a few moments of silence.

He looked up to meet her concerned gaze, "No."

"Really?" She questioned, still not satisfied by his apparent strange behaviour.

He moved to clasp her hands with his own and looked her straight in the eye, "Really." He reassured, "Really."

She nodded, "Okay, so why did you just kiss me because last time I checked that wasn't normal behaviour for you?"

"I wanted to..." He leaned back, suddenly unsure of himself, "Did you not want me to kiss you?"

"What?"

He removed his hands from her grip and stepped back, leaving some space between them, "I didn't even think about it. I shouldn't have kissed you. I wasn't considering how you felt. I just wanted to kiss you because I regretted not doing so before and I was always curious and I didn't even comprehend how you would take it and I-"

He was cut off as her lips pressed firmly against his. He took a moment to react, struck dumb by the mere fact that she was kissing him again, before he sunk into the kiss, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him.

He suddenly found himself wondering why he hadn't done this before, too concerned about life spans and how badly things would end. Why had he not just thrown all that to hell? His worries were irrelevant. The loss of her was just as bad no matter how short their time together, he should had savoured every second instead of wasting it with pride and established rules...

They pulled back, as oxygen starvation became an issue (mainly on her part. He did, after all, have rather large lungs).

"Well, now who's acting strange?"

"Oh shut up."

He grinned, and grabbed her hand, "Come on then, let's go get some chips."

"Oh, chips. This is like our first date again."

"Does that mean I have to give you a goodnight kiss at the end of date?" he raised an eyebrow at her, trying to maintain a face of pure innocence. He watched her let out a small laugh. How he had missed it?

"Only if you're paying." she pointed out.

"Well, I wouldn't want to be a tightwad."

"Aren't you one already?"

"Oi! Me? A tightwad?" he protested, a pout forming on his face. He brought his hand up to his chest and held it there dramatically as he cried out, "How you wound!"

"Oh come on then, our first first date."

"New new Doctor..." he muttered absentmindedly to himself as his mind wandered back to both visits to New Earth...why had he gone there twice?

"What?" asked Rose, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Nothing," he replied, the smile slipping back into place, "Now where's the chip shop again?"

To be continued...

**AN: So I brought it back to a happier note for the meantime...review if you enjoyed...**


	8. Two Doctors, Rose and A Chip Shop

**AN: Two Doctor and one Rose end up in the same chip shop...I'll say no more. lol**

He pushed his fork along his plate, pressing uneaten chips against other uneaten chips, listening to the sound of Rose's voice as she spoke, a heavy load in his heart suddenly growing.

"We should go visit my mother soon. I know we visited her a few weeks ago but that was because she was upset about Elton. I need to get some washing done. I can't believe you haven't got a washing machine. What do you do with your suit? I never see you clean it or do you have like a room full of them on the Tardis." She paused, watching him push another chip away, "Doctor?"

He looked up, "What?"

"Are you alright?"

In truth he wasn't. This had probably been a bad idea. How could he possibly think he could spend the day with her, knowing what was to come and not wish to change it? Of course it would go against all rules of time and space, not to mention the few ones he set himself, but he suddenly found himself not caring if for one second he could actually get what he wanted.

"I'm always alright." The beginnings of a frown graced her features and he knew he shouldn't have said those particular words. Even by now she probably knew they were code for 'really not alright' but he couldn't help it so he tried to cover for it, "I mean, I'm just not that hungry."

"How can you not be hungry?" Her eyes widened as a smile returned, "You were the one complaining all day about being hungry and now we're here you've suddenly lost your appetite."

"Well, then I'll eat."

He popped a chip in mouth and smiled as she watched him with chariness. He nearly gagged on the chip in his mouth when he saw who had just entered the chip shop - himself. Or to be more precise his slightly younger version of himself.

"Doctor, are you alright?" She patted his back, forcing the chip that was lodged in his throat to loosen, "Here, I'll go get you a drink."

He grabbed her arm, pulling her back to the seat. There wasn't a chance he could let her see his other self, especially when his other self was technically the one who was meant to be with Rose.

"What is it?" she asked, looking into his eyes, "What's wrong?"

One thing for certain, she decided, he was definitely acting weird. She moved to turn her head to look behind her but before she could move an inch, the Doctor had wrapped her in a hug.

He waved his hand frantically, trying to draw the attention of his other self. An old lady who was standing behind the younger version pointed at herself in confusion, "Is it me you want dearie?"

He shook his hand, trying not to make Rose aware of what he was doing. That wasn't exactly going well when she kept asking him why he was hugging her to death.

He pointed towards his other self, desperately hoping that the old lady would get the picture and realise that he wasn't talking to her, but in fact the man who looked like him and was standing right beside her.

He blessed the heavens when she finally got it and gently tapped the brown suited figure in front of him. His other self turned and looked down at the lady, "Yes?"

The old lady looked between the two of him and smiled, "Oh you don't see twins very often. Especially ones wearing the same clothes. It's very adorable when they're young." She looked between them again, "Yes, when they're young..."

His other self looked at the woman with confusion in his eyes before he turned his head and suddenly found his mouth agape in surprise. Regaining his senses, he mouthed, "What are you doing here?"

He loosened his grip on Rose a little, "What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm hungry!" he mouthed back.

"Well, we can't let Rose see both of us!"

"I'll just get my chips and go." He paused, "Keep her distracted!"

"Ok, hurry up."

"I will."

"You better."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno."

"Then why did you say it?"

"No, why did you say it?"

"What?"

"What?"

The old lady interrupted, "It's your turn to order dearie."

The Doctor's younger self turned, "Oh," he turned away and ordered before turning back to his other self, "Where were we?"

"Who knows?"

"I thought you did."

"Well, I don't."

"Why are we mouthing to each other again?"

"So Rose doesn't find out your here!"

"Right." A pause, "You do realise you're still hugging her."

"I know."

"She's going to be suspicious once you let her go."

"I know."

"You might even get slapped."

"I know."

"It's going to hurt."

"I know."

"It might not be as bad as Jackie's."

"I know."

"Well, better you than me."

"Oi!" He gulped, realising he had just yelped out loud.

"What did you do that for?" his younger self mouthed.

"It was an accident." He tried to ignore Rose protests, "Just get your food and run."

"Ok then. I'll meet you at the Tardis later. Once Rose is asleep."

"Right."

His younger self picked up two bags of chips and ran out of the shop. Wait, why did he have two bags? Maybe he was really hungry...and the chips here are the best around. That was it.

As the Doctor released Rose from his embrace and gulped once again at the look on her face.

"Don't you just love hugs Rose?" He flashed her an innocent grin, "Aren't they just great? Brilliant? Would you like another hug?" She glared at him, "Maybe not."

He ate a few more chips, watching her out of the corner of his eye. Just as she was about to say something, he interrupted, "Oh look at the time!" He pretended to look at a non-existent watch, hoping she wouldn't notice the lack of one on his wrist, "The festival's on. We should get going. Right now or we'll miss it." He got out of the seat and pulled her up off hers, "You'll love it Rose. Bright lights, pretty decorations, small chance of an invasion. Just brilliant, don't you think?"

"How much of a chance of invasion?" she asked warily.

"About 50-50 either way." He grabbed her shoulders and stood in front of her, stopping her movements, "So am I forgiven?"

The corners of her mouth twitched and he knew he was off the hook, "Fine, but only because of the invasion."

"Only because of the invasion." He grinned, "Got it Miss Tyler. I mean you can't be angry with me for a hug."

"About that-"

"And you definitely can't be angry at me if we need to save the world together. Again. You know if we were angry with each other then we might argue and then we might miss a giant alien invasion if we were arguing and couldn't hear the screams of those around us and that would be good. So it is better for all if we never get angry at each other. So we should go..." He smiled, "I'll lead the way."

He stuck out his hand and she accepted it and they began their walk towards the festival.

To be continued...

**AN: Ah, festivals. I don't know why festivals keep popping up in my stories. It's kind of like when I was sleep deprived I kept writing about beds. Well, not beds exactly but you get the point. lol...maybe I'm festival deprived, which is strange since I've never been to a festival. You don't exaclty get many festivals in Ireland...I probably couldn't be bothered to go if there was one on anyway.lol...I'm rambling. Review if you want to... :)**


	9. What Have You Done?

**AN: Yes, this hasn't been uploaded in ages but I was focusing on my other stories as I was writing too many and didn't have time to update them all regularly. Sorry, well...here's a new chapter.**

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She had suspected something strange was going on. The Doctor was acting weird, extremely long hugs, weird lingering looks; looks that were filled with pain, sadness and joy at the same time; looks she couldn't understand and kisses that were just... The Doctor kissing her...well, that was strange in itself.

She wanted to question it, willed herself to, but it was that small nagging feeling in the back of her head that was telling her she didn't want to know. Maybe she didn't want it to end. She liked the kisses, they were nice kisses - great kisses in fact - but what had prompted the kisses? That was what she wanted to know.

"Doctor?"

This was the time to ask. She had to ask - needed to ask. If she didn't ask now then she never would build up the courage to do it. Something was...different. There was a look in his eyes; distant, older, hurt...

It wasn't unusual for him to have bad days, even when she had thought she had seen him at his worst there was never - in all her time travelling with him - a look that looked remotely like that in his eyes. She had never seen him look...

Broken.

And he was trying to hide it from her - why?

He turned his head to meet her gaze with that broken shell hidden within those orbs, "Yeah?"

This was the time. All she had to do was say the words, ask the question and hope to receive an honest answer. Not too difficult.

"Doctor, is there-"

His eyes narrowed, staring at a spot above her shoulder. He grabbed her hand, "We have company. Outer-space company."

The words - the question, the answer, all of it - were lost as intrigue filled her mind. That and the fact the now seemed to be running along, hand in hand, whilst the Doctor explained at a hundred miles a minute what was seemingly going on and it didn't seem good. No, definitely not good in the slightest.

"Oh this isn't good." He confirmed to her for the fifth time, "I mean I expected an invasion but from a-" He stopped abruptly, "Hold on...wait a minute, that's not right."

Seeing him frown, she took another breath of fresh air; grateful for its refreshing splendour after running before turning to face him, raising an eyebrow in the process, "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

He frowned, "Oh no…" The Doctor's face drained of colour, She grabbed at his arm in concern, "Doctor what is it?"

"I knew it was too good to be true…"

What? What was he going on about? Rose followed his gaze, unable to find out what had startled him so much, but he wouldn't have _that_ look on his face if it weren't serious.

"Doctor!" She moved to stand in front of him and grabbed his shoulders, "Doctor tell me what's wrong!"

He looked down, his eyes shining with a look she couldn't identify but it made her want to run and hide. She gulped in fear, and he whispered, "I'm sorry Rose. I'm so sorry."

She recoiled, "About what?"

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you." He leaned forward, kissed her forehead and ran towards the crowd. Rose stood transfixed; watching as he slowly became engulfed in the crowd.

"Doctor…" she breathed out, "What have you done?" she whispered to herself, before she found her feet moving of their own accord.

To be continued...

**AN: Review if you enjoyed...or are intrigued...or if you're still reading?**


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